"What in Return?"
By Amrita Gurung
Bagmati Boarding School

     It's obvious that adolescents like you and I have someone very special in our hearts. I am not talking about love neither the infatuation that we have in our stage of becoming adult. Here, what I am talking about is respect.

"We all respect the people who are likely to be respected."

To be more frank, I as a girl respect a man. A man who has a real attitude, works hard, and possesses anything that a man needs to have. A charisma in himself makes melt as he comes in front of my eyes. But, don't get me wrong. I respect him very much. Yes, there is love but I don't want him as my beloved. He is someone who is more than my beloved. Rather, I would say he is an inspiration to me. I want myself to shape up like him.

"Who would not like to?"

But it is so absurd to tell that he doesn't respect my nerves. What is my state? Is the question that I have been asking myself for the past few days? Am I a well-wisher? No, this is just not enough. I am more than that is why I think he makes me feel special comparing to the others. Or, should I call myself a good friend of his? This is so incredible to think about also. I know nothing of him personally. Then what?

"Lucky are those people who don't have such a respectful man. At least they don't have to quench their state in writing."

Some days ago he called me up and talked to me for almost about two hours. We never had this long conversation before. His way of talking enthralled me. I am fascinated by every action of his. In my happy mood I had let him know everything about my parents, relatives, cousins and so on.

"I wish I had never talked about my kith and kin."

Everybody has started liking him. Let's say that I am a host among them to talk about him only. They are the people who ignored him and now want to die just for the sake of him. But for me they aren't real well wisher. A well wisher is someone who respects him/her from his/her heart. It is so boring to hear the same things several times from their mouths. Why would it not be? As I know about those things from the very beginning. Sometimes I have to go and say, --------- " Didn't I know him earlier than you?"

"Promise! They are the people who closed their ears when I talked about his good deeds."

Let's go back to what I have said. "He doesn't respect my nerves!" He had unknowingly disclosed about my kith and kin from me. Truly speaking, I didn't know what I was talking about on the phone. To my surprise my cousins were also in touch with him for last one month. Earlier they used to ignore him. Now, they are in touch with him. Oh my Gosh! I can't believe this! I had also mentioned that they used to ignore him. But, it was all in the vain. They are special to him more than I today. I agree that he is a well-known person. And, it is common to have a number of well-wishers like me. But, how has he treated me? He pretends to be good to me. But, I can't tolerate myself in his fake ambience. It is so weird to see a genuine person turned into double standard.

"Will you guys resist this?"

I have done what not to make myself closer to him. Moreover I have cheated my loved ones by bunking the school just to make him feel that I am always dear to him. I have created a special place in my heart. Today, I have realized that having closed my eyes, I played with him selflessly. To my quest, what have I got in return? It is crystal clear that I have got nothing in return. My special memories have all faded away as he is getting others to woo him. Still, I continue to ask myself------ "What in return?"

-Amrita Gurung
Bagmati Boarding School

Now P.S. "will you guys dare to be closer to the people like him?"